This morning The Today Show had an interesting segment on breaking up with your friends.  Well at least I thought it was going to be interesting until I actually watched the segment.  I hate it when they put in a teaser for a story at the top of the hour only to hype it so much then when they actually air the segment it stinks.  Anyway, they talked a bit about the different approaches men and women take to friendships, but ultimately no real good advice came from the "experts" they talked with.  Disappointing, as I was kinda hoping that they would have talked about knowing when you should break up, how to do it and practical tips on dealing with that type of confrontation.

I know, I know, get to the point already!  Okay, here's the deal.  Whether you look at it this way or not, your bound to be in the position of ending a relationship at some point in your life.  In your career life, one of the truly uncomfortable parts of a successful job search is giving notice to your current company.  Even if you it's on your own terms, you're breaking up with them and it sucks.

Sometimes you'll have the wonderful experience where both parties realize that it's time to move on.  You've done your tour of duty, learned all you can and you have an amicable separation from the company.  In these cases you often leave with wonderful feelings and potentially may consider returning depending on your circumstances.  Heck, they may even throw you a going away par-tay.  Woohoo!

In other situations, it'll probably feel like you are breaking free from an abusive relationship.  You've put all you have into a company and gotten little in return.  You've found a new employer that seems willing to support your career and you're ready to stick it to your old employer when you finally quit.  You know you'll never return and they give you a less then warm send off as you walk out the door (even though you know they should be thanking you for saving their butts on multiple occasions).

The most devastating experience is probably the ambivalence zone.  This is when you've just both grown apart.  No one is really to blame, but there just isn't a match anymore.  You don't necessarily want to leave though you've found a position that seems so much more promising.  The company isn't happy to see you go yet it's not like they are trying to do anything to make you stay.  You both walk away with promises of staying in touch, but you know that's not going to happen.  In the end, the experience is a net-zero.

Whatever the case may be it's important to keep a few things in mind when actually doing the deed:

• Always be professional and courteous.  Now is not the time to vent all your frustrations at the company regardless of how badly you may feel you've been treated.  You'll want to take the higher ground.  Who knows, you may end up working with one of your former colleagues again.  Or you may need them to give you a recommendation in the future.  The last thing you want to do is leave a a bad impression. 
  
  
• Think about the time and place.  Set aside a specific time to speak with your manager or the person you need to notify of your resignation. The worst thing you could do is pop into their office and lay down your resignation.  You'll want focused time to potentially discuss why you are leaving.  You will most likely be catching them off guard and you'll want to make a safe space for a professional conversation to take place.  Depending on your circumstances you may even want to find a neutral ground to give your resignation - over lunch or coffee.
  
  
• Prepare yourself.  Though written resignations aren't typically the norm anymore, I recommend that you have one ready prior to the conversation with your manager or HR department.  Doing this in advance will help you think through your reasons for leaving and overcoming their objections.  Plus if you do need one, it's one last thing you'll have to think about when leaving.
  
  
• Do your research.  Spend time researching your companies policies on how much notice you need to give, how you might be obligated under non-disclosure or confidentiality agreements that you might have signed, and what the policies are if you plan to return to the company in the future.  I've seen situations where people have given the gold-standard two weeks notice only to be told that the employment agreement they've sign obligates them to give four weeks notice or more.
  
  
• Be ready for the worst case scenario.  No matter what your relationship with the company, there may be specific policies about quitting, notice and how they handle "separating" employees from the company.  Again, there have been situations where the best employees give notice and are escorted out of the office that same day.  I don't particularly agree with that type of policy, but it happens.  You might want to think about what would happen in this particular scenario.  I've heard of people cleaning out their personal effects (without being too obvious) in anticipation of just such an event.

What am I missing here? I'm sure there are a few more nuggets of advice from folks that have had employees quit or have quit themselves.  What's the good, the bad and the ugly?